Draco the Girl
by lilgreendesire
Summary: *Chapter 6 up* Harry and McGonnagol, transfiguration, stockings and the red mini skirt... ***DONT read unless you have a strange sense of humour, lol!*** You have been warned! *slash*
1. Draco the Girl

Warning - This is a bit strange, as I was just in a strange mood, so don't hold it against me, lol!!!  
  
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Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny were playing truth or dare. Hermione was dared to kiss Ginny in the hall. Hermione kissed Ginny in the hall. Draco saw. Draco screamed like a girl and ran away. Ginny was dared to kiss Draco the girl. Ginny approached Draco the girl. Draco the girl screamed and ran away. Harry got bored of playing. Harry went to find Snape. Harry tried to kiss Snape. He had always wanted to do this. Snape screamed like a girl and ran away. Harry was upset and cried. Harry cried himself to sleep.  
  
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Hey, that sucked! I'm still trying to decide if it deserves a sequel though - I mean that was so bad, my cat could have written it. Haha! 


	2. Flitwick Kisses Potter

I would just like to apologise in advance for the parts in this chapter that my brother wrote, which are even worse than the bits that I wrote, haha! Oh, and this chappie is dedicated to Saria Black (sorry, if this is an offence!!) (see reviews) 

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Harry was in the boy's bathroom. Suddenly a troll walked in. Harry whipped out his nine-inch wand, and used it to stab the troll. The troll screamed like a girl and ran away. Then Flitwick entered the bathrooms. Flitwick walked over to Harry and kissed him. This upset Harry, because he fancied Snape. Harry decided to slap Flitwick. Flitwick cried. This made Harry even more upset. Harry sat down and cried. Harry cried himself to sleep. 

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My brother has also just made copies of Harry and his nine-inch wand out of blu-tac – these will soon be available in all good art departments around the country. *Cheesy Grin * 

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You may send Flames – Flames are funny J ! Plus I think I deserve them too. (I will make my brother get his own account to write his weird stuff on – you have been warned in advance!) Nice reviews are welcome too – please mark as - 'endangered species'. Thankyou – have a nice day J !


	3. Snape and the Red Feather boa

Hello again!! This chappie is dedicated to jessika (again, see reviews!!) 

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Harry, Hermione and Ron were sitting in Potions class. Suddenly Snape walked in. Snape was wearing a frilly pink dress and a red feather boa. Harry was upset, because he now thought Snape was gay. Harry was angry. Harry shouted at Snape. Snape gave Harry detention. Harry was even more upset and tried to kiss Snape. Snape screamed like a girl and ran away. Harry decided that Snape really was a girl and laughed. Harry laughed himself to sleep.

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That was _____ (not very good – enter alternate word of your choice here instead!) My brother wasn't here to add any funny parts though! L ! 


	4. A New School Uniform

Hi, this is part 4 – sorry I didn't post any earlier! Haha! This chappie is (most unfortunately for you!! Soz!) Dedicated to Saba-Chan (the blu-tac wands are free by the way!! They will be promotional toys!)

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Harry was sitting in the detention hall with Fred. Snape walked in wearing pink stockings and red mini skirt. Fred laughed. Snape gave Fred another detention. Fred stopped laughing. Harry decided he didn't like Snape's mini skirt and whipped out his nine-inch wand. Snape screamed like a girl and ran away. Hermione walked in, also wearing stockings and a red mini skirt. Harry asked Hermione why she was dressed like Snape. Hermione informed Harry that it was their new uniform. It was designed for both the kids and staff to create a good 'teacher-pupil' bond. Harry cried with joy. He had always wanted to wear a red mini skirt. (Although he had already decided that red most definitely _wasn't _Snape's colour.)

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Sorry - I make it up as I go along so it probably makes no sense what-so-ever!! Haha! In the next chapter they are sooo badly going to be wearing their new 'uniforms'!---Write in any reviews if u have any cool or random ideas for the next chapter!


	5. Snape and Dust Bunnies

Ok – this chapter is dedicated completely to Krystal Diamond (As she wrote it, lol!!!) If she is here at all, then thanx 4 ur idea!!!! Sorry it took so long to post again – I knida decided I had gone completely nuts!!! (ok, I have)

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Harry was eating lunch. Snape walked in. He was not wearing the school uniform. He was not wearing anything at all. Harry cried for joy and ran at Snape. Snape did NOT scream like a little girl and run away. Instead, Snape kissed Harry and skipped/pranced away. Harry fell down. Harry saw dust bunnies under the Slytherin table. Harry, being a sadistic Snape-hugging Parselmouth, ate the dust bunnies. Draco Malfoy cried and cursed Harry.  
  
Harry walked away with two new noses, one on either shoulder.  


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I hope that none of this story detracts from or damages my (already poor) writing ability! ! I'm sorry if I have offended the author (aka J.K.Rowling) or her books, in which case I apologise in advance…..Um right, well yeah, I guess that's all I have to say…. 


	6. Harry the Toad

Hi, here is the next instalment of the worst fic you are likely to read. As I have struggled terribly hard to maintain - this really is a load of rubbish and you are advised to seriously consider not reading it.You're still there.Oh well, chapter 6.enjoy!!!  
  
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Harry was sitting in Transfiguration. Harry watched as Professor McGonnagol walked into the classroom wearing the same stockings and red mini-skirt that he was. Harry definitely felt the student-teacher bond that the uniform had been designed for. When McGonnagol asked Harry to demonstrate to the class his special talent, Harry prepared by whipping out his nine-inch wand once more - only was distressed to find out that it had extended into a ten-inch wand. Instead of displaying his huge talent to the class, Harry decided to run at McGonnagol. Unfortunately for Harry, McGonnagol had seen Harry's wistful, sidelong glances and was prepared. Harry was therefore turned into a toad before he reached her. This upset Hermione greatly. Unfortunately, Harry was a very disturbed boy and croaked himself to sleep.  
  
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AN: I really do hope that you feel educated now. This has become a great literacy piece of work and the demands for live readings have been coming in thick and fast so far. Ok, I guess not ... 


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